Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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