he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
