she was so not down for the gang bang
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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