I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
