Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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