oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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