My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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