Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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