OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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