Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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