It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
