What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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