I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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