I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
