Having a random hookup so left but love u
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
