4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
