jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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