Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
