After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
