I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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