I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
