used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
