Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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