Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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