I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
