I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
