I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
