how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
