if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
