end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
