i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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