He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
