I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
