matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
