It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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