The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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