Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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