Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
