marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize