big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I am morally bankrupt
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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