thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Found the puke drawer
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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