Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
