ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
