Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
