evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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