There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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