dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
