i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
