sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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