So drunk its hurt
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
